![]() When something shatters, its never impossible to put it back together. However, it can never be put back together exactly the same it was before it was broken. It has been almost five years since I wrote my last blog post here. For the last five years I have been dedicated to my craft: my craft being basketball, That Girl on Fire, investing in those I lead and teach and coach. As I kept growing professionally, I decided to take a leap of faith in a job that felt like it was my landing spot. I basically put the rest of my life on hold to chase this dream. I left the place I knew for four years to move into a new community that I thought was going to be a long term home. I will not lie to you. It was so much fun. I had a blast. I was convinced it was shaping up to be one of the best years of my life. However, without real warning it all came crashing down. I always thought that I would feel my first raw heartbreak due to that dreamy guy who was not meant to be mine. I never in my life imagined it would be professionally. There is no other way to explain what I have felt recently than utter heartbreak: to be so sad that it feels like your heart has cracked inside your chest. If my heart was a vase, it shattered when someone took a hammer to it that one day in April. Because of that the water that flowed from it ran out and the joy that bloomed because of it quickly died. Someday, that story will be told, but I want to focus on where I currently sit. I currently sit still like a fresh stab to the heart. I sit in random moments of flashbacks of that day that completely shifted seasons of my life. I sit in moments of being excited for the future. I sit in moments of fear, doubt and anger. I sit in times of thankfulness for all that has come before; and then I sit again in the hurt of having to live a life that I never wanted to live. I sit in a phase where I am diligently and grudgingly picking up the pieces. It took a while for me to even try to understand; and I do not think I will ever understand it fully. However, I need to trust this is the journey the Lord wants me to take. I need to trust that there was a greater plan in one year than what I can currently see. I need to trust that the best is yet to come, and I do that by each day picking up more and more pieces to put the fiery and faithful heart back together. So that is where I sit. I sit in a season of picking up the pieces of a life I once knew and trying to figure out who I am supposed to be again. I remind myself whose I am and that is who I am. The largest blessing is the people who have been reminding me all along and who have been my heart for me in the low moments. I stand firm on my life verses Galatians 6:9 and 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 and Romans 8:28. Nothing is wasted. It is time to write again. It is time to grow again. It is time to live again, and I will do that the best I can. It won´t look exactly like it was before it broke, but I am putting my heart back together. Let us not become weary in doing good for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. - Galatians 6:9 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. or our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28
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